ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Creative Postpartum Intimate Strategies For New Dads

Updated on February 28, 2014
jpcmc profile image

I'm a dad, husband, and Christian first. Second, I'm an educator and organizational development professional.

Source

Let’s face it postpartum intimacy is a challenge for husbands. Your wife is probably not in the mood for intimacy at this stage. The physical pain, breastfeeding, the exhaustion, the lack of sleep and other whacked factors just won’t make her in the mood for love. Trying to wake her up while the baby is sleeping may not be a good course of action. As a new mom, she also needs the rest. In addition, hormones are temporarily out of commission at this stage. So expect a certain level of indifference and a lot of emotional stresses from your wife. I know it can be frustrating! But you are the third wheel and you have to get used to that.

You must realize that intimacy must evolve. Well, that’s short of saying you won’t get some loving so be creative. Like what I wrote in the husbands survival guide on postpartum depression, intimacy is no longer the yes – yes—oh–my–god–yes kind of way. Although you might get lucky from time to time, savor it. However, be realistic. You need to find alternative ways to reconnect with your wife.

But before we move forward, let me dispel a common notion about intimacy. I know most guys equate intimate moments with scantily clad women and some form of lubricant. Yes, I almost forgot the classic smoke in the end. But no, intimacy is more than the physical. Your wife needs more than the physical contact; she needs your understanding and patience. You need to make her feel special. So let’s start…

Cuddle for a change

Sometimes, closeness is all that counts. An embrace can be reassuring especially to your wife whose undergoing a lot of changes – physically and emotionally.

Massage

Nothing is as intimate as physical touch. Massaging her feet, legs or her back every now and then will definitely make a huge difference. Of course, try not to grope her as this can derail your attempt for an intimate moment. If she lets you, they you’re one lucky dude. If not, muster all your strength and resist the urge to molest your wife. Foot rubs, back rubs and head massages are great ways to relax your wife and say you love her.

Romantic dinner

A romantic dinner always gets the flame rekindled. Well, this time you may want to simply cook for her and share a meal with her. If cooking is not your thing, it would be doubly sweet of you learn how to cook. Just don’t set the kitchen on fire, that’s definitely a mood breaker.

Soft lights, quiet ambiance and soft music - these are great for an intimate dinner. It also describes your baby’s room.

Like basket

Another surprise that you can do is to make a like basket. Put in a pretty little basket all that she likes. From little snacks, trinkets to CD’s and DVD that you know she likes. An alternative is to make a new mommy kit. A little research is needed here. Know what the new mom needs and assemble it for your wife.

Watch your wedding video together

When was the last time you watched your wedding video. This was one of the happiest moments in our lives, and I bet it’s yours as well. Reminisce with her and connect with your wife.

Say I love you in different ways

Whether it’s a sweet whisper, a love note, a poem or an original song, say you love her in different ways. More importantly, say it every day. Show her that you care by carrying some of the burdens. Dong the baby chores like changing diapers, giving the baby a bath all show that you care for her.

Buy her something new

A dress, jewelry, maternity bras, it’s your choice. But go out and surprise her with something new. I’m pretty sure you know what she fancies, so make the extra effort and go get it. Make an effort to gift wrap it for her.

Quickies!

At last some action. Better quick than nothing you may add. But let me burst your bubble. It’s a brand of smoothies and shakes here in the Philippines. They have nutritious fruit shakes loaded with vitamins. Your wife needs a quick pick me and energy booster, this one’s for you…actually for your wife. So go out and get some. But since we’re talking about intimate moments, why not make one for her.

Sure, some may seem lame and corny, but it’s for a very wide audience. Take your pick, modify or even be inspired to create your own. Just keep in mind that postpartum intimacy is quite different from what you are used to.

Moreover, no means no! If you’re lucky to get some lovin’ then good for you. If not, you need to understand the postpartum depression and stresses your wife is experiencing. Lay low with the libido and turn on the other side of intimacy.

Just curious

For husbands: Every husband has his own strategy when it comes to intimacy. What's yours?

For moms: What's your ideal intimate moment with your husband?

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)