Are You So Picky That You Are Already Choosing A Life Of Loneliness?
There are many common proverbs relating to relationships. A famous Jewish one is that every teapot has a lid. Lately, especially seeing people in Los Angeles, I noticed that there are more and more singles. People treat relationships like the lottery. I have heard statements like "when it is meant to be, it will happen." What I noticed nowadays is that people are too picky, waiting for Mr. Right or Ms. Right.
I have a theory that people who are waiting for Mr. Right or Ms. Right are inadvertently choosing a path of loneliness. You have traditional Christian Asian men and their criteria. What are their criteria? They will answer: (1) pretty, (2) thin, (3) speaks their mothers' native language, (4) working, (5) child-bearing, (6) willing to live with their mother-in-law and (2) same religion. You have professional women and their criteria--(1) handsome, (2) head full of hair (3) professional, and (4) earning more than the woman. With an attitude that they have to find all of these qualities, the years go by and they are still alone. In fact, some find it a chore to look for a potential mate.
First of all, you have to consider what you have to offer. If you are a man, are you handsome, thin and making good income? If a woman can find another man who has these same criteria, why would she need to also meet the other criteria such as the language, religion, and child-bearing requirement? If you are a woman, are you gorgeous, thin, and a professional? If a man can find these criteria in a woman, why would they choose you? It is interesting that a person who asks so much in another person never looks to oneself to see if he or she is as marketable. Like a game of chess, when both genders cannot find a person who meets all of these criteria, you have "stalemate."
Here are my advice to the lonely hearts:
For Men
1.If you have a lot of criteria, what are the odds that you will find someone who will meet all of the criteria? Can you eliminate a few?
2. Attractiveness is important, but you might think about someone who can intellectually interest you.
3. Relationships are about compromise.
4. You have to put as much effort in looking for companionship as you do with job hunting because only in Hollywood do older men find younger women.
5. The criteria to have: compatibility regarding whether to have family and spending habits.
For Women
1. If you keep really short hair, you are making a statement that you prefer convenience to femininity. I receive compliments from men regarding my longer hair (currently down to my chest...not long enough to donate to Locks of Love) on a daily basis.
2. A smile is free, make eye contact and smile.
3. If someone makes random conversation, entertain it. Give the guy a break because he has to start somewhere.
4. Enjoy a person's company, and you will find that you will loosen your criteria. Be high maintenance, and sooner or later, a guy will decide that you are not worth the trouble and see no future with you.
5. The criteria to have: compatibility regarding whether to have family and spending habits.
