Become Quick-witted, and Fight Teasing

I've found that quite often, people love to show how clever or cute they are by attaching their own meaning to what you are doing. Here's an example: You scratch your head, and someone walking by playfully asks, "That task too puzzling for ya?" This often forces the answer, "Yah, I guess!" if the question takes you by surprise. Another example is, you trip and someone asks, "Have a good trip?" Or, you're kneeling while looking for something in the bottom drawer, and someone walking by says, "Say one for me, okay?"

Sometimes, their comment implies something negative, like my first example above. I grew to hate that type of comment, because it forced me to agree, which left me with a sour note on my overall karma.

So I decided to change all that. I decided I was no longer going to permit that people controlled my peace of mind, and also how I was feeling or what I was supposedly doing or thinking. What I came up with not only solved that initial goal, but it made people react in a way that seemed to say, "Sam's a quick-witted and humorous person after all!"

The first thing I did was to sit down and write up a list of all things people tend to say that fits the above category, and some that don't necessarily fit. Later on, I decided to write down things that people have said that are quite derogatory, or for the purpose of teasing or intimidating. Some people don't know when to stop teasing, or they don't realize how sensitive some people are over the things they're teasing them about. This plan is a great solution to that type, as well.

So I wrote quite a comprehensive list in one column. In the other column, I put down what I thought would be a good come-back. Sometimes, I thought of more than one come-back, so I wrote those down too. When I completed the list of come-backs, I reviewed them until I became familiar with them.

Within two or three days, my supervisor came up to me while I was working on a very involved project on my paste-up table. She asked, "What 'cha building?" Without a pause, I answered, "My future." Her mouth dropped and her eyes popped open. She laughed with delight, speechless for a while.

One time I yawned. A co-worker saw me and asked, "Too much Late Show?" I answered, "No, I'm taking voice lessons; haven't you heard?"

This type of thing actually works, especially if you use phrases you hear almost every day. This also does wonders with teasing. I know that children suffer much from teasing, and unfortunately are often too hurt to employ this system. They sometimes can't grasp these important points: "Pretend it doesn't hurt, and you will win, because the reason they're teasing is to control you, and make you sad. Remember that nobody can ruin your day; you're the one in control of what goes on in your head. If you cry or show hurt, you're showing your tormentor that you evidently agree with them. Show them you know better." But in case a child comes along that can learn these tricks early, I'm providing this help.

Here are some possibilities, both for adults, as well as for children, if they can get into that mode:

You Stink. --- {smile sweetly} Thanks for the feedback. Do you charge for that service?

(OR) --- {show grave concern} Have you checked your olfactory glands lately? I can refer you to a competent veterinarian.

{You trip over something} Have a good trip? --- No, I just stumbled onto a great idea. Wanna hear it?

{You're sad over a reason you don't want to discuss} Lost your teddy bear? --- {Grinning} Nope, just a paper clip.

{You're kneeling} Say one for me, Okay? --- Sure, but I'll be getting your blessings, for the effort.

{You scratch your head} Too puzzling? --- Nope, just lubricating my fingernails.

You're clothes are ugly --- [See first answer] OR: --- {smile happily} Oh, great! A professional consultant! Tell me how to improve the outfit! {Anticipate the answer eagerly}

{A boy shoves you} --- {Show a puzzled look} Is that what they taught you in gentleman school?

I know different people with unique features that usually invite teasing. Some of them have already done what I am doing. One acquaintance is mostly bald. When someone commented on his shiny head, he replied, "God experimented making heads until He got real good at making beautiful ones. He was so ashamed of the rest, He covered them up with hair."

When we respond to negative insinuations or comments with these planned comebacks, we suddenly become more witty, and often more friendly. The more friendly comebacks will tend to open more doors of friendship to the person wishing to tease, than if you walked away saddened by the comment.

I suspect that many of you hubbers have also implemented a system like this. I wouldn't be surprised, because of the great writing I've seen. But people like me can probably use this advice. For those people, let me say to you, you can probably take it from here, now that the ball is rolling. Attack this thing and try it out, then you'll get better at it. At the same time, people will begin to respect you more, and your confidence and self-esteem will spring into new life.